SPAM PAGE

A page full of spam

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* Spam is maps spelled backwards. Remember that when you're lost.

* The first unsolicited bulk commercial e-mail (which would later become known as "spam") was sent on May 1, 1978 by a DEC marketing representative to every ARPANET email address on the west coast of the United States.

* Spam as a name for unwanted email refers to a sketch from the British television comedy show, Monty Python's Flying Circus. The sketch involved a middle class couple in a Viking restaurant trying order from a menu which had nothing but the canned meat, Spam, on the menu.

Factoids about the sketch:

• The middle class couple's name was Mr. and Mrs. Bun.
• Eric Idle played Mr. Bun.
• The late Graham Chapman played Mrs. Bun.
• Terry Jones played the unnamed waitress trying to take the order.
• The script calls for the word, Spam, to be spoken, chanted, or sung 86 times in the sketch which lasts less than three minutes.
• The sketch was in the 25th episode of the TV series.
• Spam was the last sketch in the televised episode.
• The sketch may be found on the 8th DVD of the Monty Python collection
• The episode was recorded on June 6, 1970.
• The episode was first transmitted (broadcast) on December 15, 1970 on the BBC.

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SPAM SKETCH

by Monty Python's Flying Circus

(Click here to view a 4.5MB wmv version of the sketch while you read the script below.)

Setting: The Green Midget Cafe at Bromley. All the customers are Vikings. Mr. and Mrs. Bun enter - downwards (on wires).

Mr. Bun (Eric Idle): Morning.

Waitress (Terry Jones): Morning.

Mr. Bun: What have you got, then?

Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg, sausage, and bacon; egg and SPAM; egg, bacon, and SPAM; egg, bacon, sausage and SPAM; SPAM, bacon, sausage, and SPAM; SPAM, egg, SPAM, SPAM, bacon, and SPAM; SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, egg, and SPAM; SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, baked beans, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, and SPAM; or lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle pate, brandy, and a fried egg on top and SPAM.

Mrs. Bun (the late Graham Chapman): Have you got anything without SPAM in it?

Waitress: Well, there's SPAM, egg, sausage, and SPAM. That's not got MUCH SPAM in it.

Mrs. Bun: I don't want _any_ SPAM.

Mr. Bun: Why can't she have egg, bacon, SPAM, and sausage?

Mrs. Bun: That's got SPAM in it!

Mr. Bun: Not as much as SPAM, egg, sausage, and SPAM.

Mrs. Bun: Look, could I have egg, bacon, SPAM, and sausage without the SPAM?

Waitress: Uuuuuuuuugggggh!

Mrs. Bun: What d'you mean uuugggh!? I don't like SPAM.

Vikings: (singing) SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM..SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM... Lovely SPAM,wonderful SPAM.... (Brief shot of Viking ship)

Waitress: Shut up. Shut up! Shut up! You can't have egg, bacon, SPAM, and sausage without the SPAM.

Mrs. Bun: Why not!

Waitress: No, it wouldn't be egg, bacon, SPAM, and sausage, would it.

Mrs. Bun: I don't like SPAM!

Mr. Bun: Don't make a fuss, dear. I'll have your SPAM. I love it. I'm having SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM...

Vikings: (singing) SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM...

Mr. Bun: ...baked beans, SPAM, SPAM, and SPAM.

Waitress: Baked beans are off.

Mr. Bun: Well, can I have SPAM instead?

Waitress: You mean SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM?

Vikings: (still singing) SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM.... (etc.)

Mr. Bun: Yes.

Waitress: Arrggh!

Vikings: ...lovely SPAM, wonderful SPAM...

Waitress: Shut up! Shut up! (The Vikings shut up momentarily. Enter the Hungarian [from an earlier sketch])

Hungarian: Great boobies honeybun, my lower intestine is full of SPAM, egg, SPAM, bacon, SPAM, tomato, SPAM...

Vikings: (starting up again) SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM...

Waitress: Shut up. (a policeman rushes in and bundles the Hungarian out)

Hungarian: My nipples explode... (Cut to a historian)

Historian (Michael Palin): Another great Viking victory was at the Green Midget cafe at Bromley. Once again the Viking strategy was the same. They sailed from these fiords here (indicating a map with arrows on it), assembled at Trondheim, and waited for the strong north-easterly winds to blow their oaken galleys to England whence they sailed on May 23rd. Once in Bromley they assembled in the Green Midget cafe and SPAM selecting a SPAM particular SPAM item from the SPAM menu would SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM... (the backdrop rises, revealing the cafe again. The Vikings start singing again and the Historian conducts them.)

Vikings: (singing) SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, Lovely SPAM, Wonderful SPAM, Lovely SPAM, wonderful SPAM (etc.)

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And now for something completely different . . . a luncheon meat called spam

SPAM FACTOIDS

Ingredients:

• Chopped pork shoulder meat with ham meat added.
• Salt (for binding, flavour, and firmness)
• Water (to help in mixing)
• Sugar (for flavour)
• Sodium Nitrite (for colour and as a preservative)

Nutrition Information For SPAM (original style):

• Calories Per Serving: 170
• Calories Per Serving From Fat: 140
• Serving Size: 2 oz.
• Servings Per Container: 6 (large) or 3.5 (small)
• Total Fat: 16g
• Saturated Fat: 6g
• Cholesterol: 40mg
• Sodium: 750mg
• Total Carbohydrates: 0g
• Fiber: 0g
• Sugars: 0g
• Proteins: 7g
• Vitamin A: 0%
• Vitamin C: 0%
• Calcium: 0%
• Iron: 2%

Impress your friends with this Spam Trivia!

• By World War II, Hormel had sold twenty thousand tons of Spam. Then, during the wartime meat rationing, Spam got popular...
• If all the cans of Spam ever eaten were put end-to-end, they would circle the globe at least ten times.
• In the U.S. alone, 3.8 cans of Spam "are consumed every second"(assuming SPAM is eaten 24 hours a day, 365.25 days a year).
• Senator Robert Byrd of West Viginia once said he eats a sandwich of SPAM and mayonnaise on white bread three times a week.
• Residents of Hawaii eat an average of four cans of SPAM per person per year, more than in any other place on Earth.
• By 1959, a billion cans of SPAM had been sold. The two billion mark was hit in 1970, followed by three billion in 1980, four billion in 1986, and five billion in 1993.
• In Korea, SPAM is sold in stylish presentation gift boxes of nine cans each. SPAM stolen from army PXs can be found on the Korean black market. And there are Korean imitations called Lo-Spam, Dak, Plumrose, and Tulip, to ensure that no one need go without.
• Nikita Krushchev once credited SPAM with the survival of the WWII Russian army. ''Without SPAM, we wouldn't have been able to feed our army,'' he said.
• SPAM is sold in over 99% of U.S. grocery stores and every Canadian grocery store I've visited.
• The SPAM luncheon meat trademark is registered in 93 countries.
• Over 60 million people in the U.S. eat SPAM.
• SPAM is made in two U.S. locations - Austin, Minnesota, and Fremont, Nebraska - and seven other countries: England, Australia, Denmark, Phillipines, Japan, Taiwan, and South Korea.
• In 1989, the U.S. armed forces bought 3.3 million pounds of SPAM.
• Over 141 million cans of SPAM are sold worldwide each year.
• Except for politicians no one admits publicly to buying or eating SPAM.

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THE SPAM MUSEUM

At Last! A museum dedicated to Spam

(the food variety, that is).

Hormel Foods, the company which makes the famous canned luncheon meat Spam, has a 16,500 square foot museum displaying the history and romance of Spam through the decades using exhibits, interactive displays, and videos.

Located in Austin, Minnesota, (population: 22,000) which is also where the head office of Hormel Foods is, the museum includes such tidbits as: in South Korea, Spam is considered a gourmet food item. (Di gustibus non disputandum est.)

Also included are advertising, marketing, and packaging materials gleaned from Spam's history since the product's inception in 1937. Tributes to its role in feeding Allied soldiers during World War II are included. (There was even a military camp named Spamville.) In addition, you can watch the Monty Python video clip mentioned above, which is a different kind of Spamville.

Of course, be sure to visit the gift shop which features merchandise and clothing with Spam logos. And don't miss the boxer shorts with the Spam logo, perfect for your Spam-lovin' man.

The Hormel Foods people even have a website for you to visit. Can you guess the URL,  boys and girls?

That's right. The URL is:    www.spam.com

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SPAM GALLERY

Please understand that the waiting list for appointments is closed as I segue into retirement.

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